An in-depth exploration of the bonds between siblings and their surprisingly large influence on how we develop. My sister, who shares my outlook on family, gave me this book for my birthday and I found it to be an absorbing read. It was easy to be overlooked and to stay quiet to avoid being seen when you didn't want to be seen. Would you buy this ultimate sibling paradox: that William is, at times, the better writer, and Henry the better in some ways the more scientific psychologist? From the time we-and they-are born, our siblings are our collaborators and co-conspirators, our role models and cautionary tales. Felt flat and seemed filled with fluff. The highlight was the interspersed stories of the author's youth.
The Sibling Effect seemed to mainly focus on the bonds between liberal white American brothers and sisters. For example, I loved the perspective on favored children. But the author failed supremely in the academic sect This book was very disappointing. All of that spelled almost certain hopelessness for those relationships. Instead I found the book to be simplistic, mostly wrong and excruciatingly dull.
Our sibling bonds strengthen our family as it extends through the coming generations, and that bodes well for our children and their families as well. Although let us not forget that when dealing with families, there are exceptions to every rule, so who knows whether the Kluger family was typical? One year, a child can be the king in the family, the oldest and most cherished. This book was very disappointing. One of the things one of the researchers said to me was that it was just too much of a muddle — people didn't know how to tease out all the threads. But that dam began breaking 15 or 20 years ago. The Sibling Effect seemed to mainly focus on the bonds between liberal white American brothers and sisters.
Chapters include discussions of birth order, how families change the family I was born into is not the same family that my oldest brother, my youngest brother, or my sister, or any of my siblings were born into , the presence and consequences of favoritism in families, siblings raising siblings, and the ties that bind siblings during the adult years. The youngest boy in a family of many boys is more likely to be gay, but in his family the opposite is true. Our rivalry, at its not infrequent best, took the form of division: London, Nabokov, science and Billie Holiday for you; Paris, Auden, writing and Sinatra for me. As someone with one sibling, I would have liked to see more about two-child families. I have full sibs, I have half sibs, and for a time I had step-sibs. Every time a read a metaphor I would either cringe or laugh, and it really detracted from the book.
It ends up being good at none of these. Siblings can train one another, unfortunately, into risky behavior in all kinds of areas — drugs, alcohol, smoking, even teen pregnancy. Observational studies show that siblings fight approximately once every 17 minutes when they are children, though surprisingly, or perhaps not, they may still love each other deeply when they grow up. And although Kluger stated there are many other factors to take into consideration when studying sibling bonds, I would've liked to read more case studies using people with different cultural values, religious values, etc. Siblings can be sources of real physical and mental health for one another in ways that we didn't always fully appreciate.
I feel I learned a bit about families and why we operate the way we do. And that's not to say it's remotely ideal. As with many audio books the format brings the story to life. We watched each other make choices in life and play them out. Bigger sibs learn to nurture by mentoring little ones; little sibs learn about wisdom by heeding the older ones. The highlight was the interspersed stories of the author's youth. In the first instance, we have the parents of a first or only child.
I'm really interested in sibling dynamics, especially in the effects of birth order. Jeffrey Kluger lives in Manhattan, New York, with his wife and two daughters. From birth order to multiples to only children, some of which I was interested in, others not so much. With his signature insight and humor, Kluger takes big ideas about siblings and turns them into smart, accessible writing that will help anyone understand the importance of siblings in our lives. In our culture we spend so much time examining the ways our parents influence us that we miss a force thats at least as significant.
Kluger is good on the tensions that this sort of thing brings on and compromises that are necessary to go on functioning. A couple next to you give a cookie to their toddler. They tend to take longer to find themselves. Well-organized and straightforward, it covers myriad topics: why siblings fight, the phenomenon of birth order, favoritism among parents, divorce and stepfamilies. The biggest advantage a youngest child gets that middle children do not is to eventually become an only child. Kluger is also co-author, with astronaut Jim Lovell, of Lost Moon: The Perilous Voyage of Apollo 13, which was the basis of the Apollo 13 movie released in 1995. There is a lot of parental focus on the older child, even if they're not aware they're doing it.
In a particularly egregious example, he refers without citation to studies in the Philippines which show that later-born siblings tend to be shorter and weigh less than earlier-born sibs. I also enjoyed the fact that his personal history was discussed. His family has gone through it all. I read it for enjoyment with a side of enlightenment. This is because you learn a little bit about how to turn the tumblers of the opposite sex.
The odds are also good that they are intelligent, confident, and articulateand 151;the center of attention. When their marriage ended, after 15 months, our relationships with those kids pretty much ended. Consider the chapter on birth-order effects, which everyone seems to find fascinating: Is the first-born consistently the intellectual superstar of the family? In this groundbreaking book, renowned science writer Jeffrey Kluger explores the complex world of siblings in a way that is equal parts science, psychology, sociology, and memoir. Parents pick favorites, but mostly it doesn't matter. Single children do, and there are people who have irreparably estranged relationships with their siblings who live full and satisfying lives, but to have siblings and not make the most of that resource is squandering one of the greatest interpersonal resources you'll ever have.